Please DO NOT WAIT

Originally posted November 7, 2008

In light of the possibility that PROP 8 will be upheld -

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Speaking as a survivor of childhood abuse & extreme neglect,

and as a victim of Marriage Inequality and its

REAL-LIFE DEVASTATING HARM

When no law acknowledges nor protects your marriage:

"When PROP 8 passed it was like being a

Stabbing victim, and then having to

Experience a state voting on other people's right to

Stab (attack) you...AGAIN.

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America suddenly became much less safe."

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To My Fellow

Lesbian

Gay

Bisexual

Trangender

Intersex

and ALL Queer Americans

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If you are paying taxes, you are saying,

"Even though other U.S. citizens pay taxes and have FULL rights, it is OK for me to continue paying FULL taxes for UN-EQUAL rights."

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Who is the fool?

Don't you really BELIEVE you ARE equal?

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And seriously, how effective is:

Marching

Chanting

Petitioning

Donating MILLIONS

[Millions!!!]

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Is that working for us?

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R-e-a-l-l-y?

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"YOUR LOVE/SOUL IS"

Perverted.

Disgusting.

IM-Moral

Sickening.

UN-Natural.

An Abomination.

NOT Equal.

Something To Hide From Children.

Wrong.

Very Wrong.

~

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"YOU ARE"

NOT worthy of adopting children.

NOT worthy of serving in the military equally.

NOT worthy of EXISTING openly.

NOT worthy of spousal pensions after death.

NOT worthy of EXACTLY what we have.

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"AND HOW DARE YOU COMPLAIN!"

Oh, you're PATIENT and willing to wait 10-20 years (like good submissives), and do not want to look bad or anger anyone who GOD-FORBID may be offended. Yeah, we've never been offended.

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My ANGER is because I've been seriously harmed by the denial of a fundamental family right.

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My ANGER is because I have had debilitating PTSD since 2004 - a direct result from my divorce WITHOUT ANY legal protection - and now horrific re-triggerings of my PTSD since the PROP 8 Debacle.

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My ANGER (and let's be real here, anger is an expression of a deeper PAIN) is because I faced a judge at my Social Security Disability hearing December 4, 2008, and now I am waiting for him to decide how much damage has been done to my life-heart-body-soul-property [March 2009 - 1st Attempt = DENIED. I'm told 3-4 is the norm.] That's akin to being assaulted and robbed, and then having the criminal not only be the judge who decides whether it was an robbery and assault or not but also gets to decide on the damages awarded. Anyone want to trade places with me this month? I'm not sure I can do this.

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It is demoralizing and dehumanizing,

and has already taking a very serious toll on my

daily functioning.

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If you saw my little thingie on the side that reads, "WHY I MUST BLOG TO AVOID GOING BAT-SHIT CRAZY" - I'm serious.

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I cannot MAKE SENSE of my life right now without having

every fiber of my being screaming out

"STOP THIS INJUSTICE NOW!"

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Blogging has alleviate some of the other stress from the panic attacks, body twitches, night terrors, and other triggers related to my own relationship with pianos and children (PTSD is very user-specific). Blogging is often ALL I can do when I am home. Right now I cannot even face the 24 children I used to teach every day. I am terrified of losing them all over again [11.22.08 UPDATE - too late], not because they quit or move on, but because I have trouble functioning in a world where an entire state voted "YES" on the PAIN and DEVASTATION that myself and many, many, many other LGBTI Americans experience daily due to

Tax-exempt HATE Groups and their

Theocratic Control of Legislation.

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Simply put - If you are heterosexual and support us and have NOT made an effort to directly contact your representatives and DEMAND that your LGBTI friend-son-mother-grandfather-uncle-teacher-grandson have the same CIVIL MARRIAGE RIGHTS you have RIGHT NOW, then

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YOU

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are part of the problem.

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Too harsh?

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I apologize.

!~

I'd hate to make you or your family's life

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difficult.

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But enough about me! My own story is just ONE of MANY, MANY, MANY horrible scenarios that DO occur without marriage protection, and most are far worse than my own; remember - some of us raise children. Q's - please DO NOT wait until your life is destroyed, your assets are lost, your lifetime of work is lost, you are bankrupt, and you develop PTSD or some other issue that affects your daily life and functioning. All I have now are my words; I have lost everything else, including all hope, so all I can and will do is SCREAM,

EQUALITY

FAMILY & CHILDREN

NO TAXATION UNTIL EQUAL

Until My Last Breathe.

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PLEASE - DO - NOT - WAIT.

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Please note - I realize that not everyone can do a tax protest.

I understand the risks for families with children or

other situations where others depend on one individual.