Open Book

On this blog I've allowed myself to share anything / everything I felt at the moment (sometimes requiring revision), from intense pain and the rage that followed, to rare chuckles, to the IDEA that we should ACT EQUAL, and to a simple IDEA:

Queer Americans Should Protest

Unfair Taxation due to the

Lack of Equal Protection

As Aug-Sept-Oct 2008 passed I felt what many Queers were feeling - a growing anxiety, distress, burden, fear - you name it. THIS IS SICK for America 2008-09.

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So now what?...20?....30 more years of "giving" civil rights, then allowing society to VOTE THEM AWAY???.....That's pretty much what everyone is accepting; we get rights, religious tyranny tries to take these rights away with votes - GOVERNMENT ENABLES and PRINTS THE FORMS. It is child abuse (well, only if you value ALL children as equal).

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Even the elementary school children in California knew that those YES on 8 and NO on 8 signs which polluted yards were YES and NO to those children's Mommy or Daddy - to those children's HOMES. SICK OK - OK - OK - I've said this enough here.

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Now on this blog I plan to share more about my background, which brings into play subjects like child abuse & neglect, social isolation, gender identity, bullying, mental illness, and how these anti-gay amendments are causing in many Q's everything from mild panic to complete mental breakdowns; A.P.A. link here.

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I'm also going to share how music, specifically the piano, was a safe haven in what became a home of pure fear, confusion, and pain. I never felt safe 2/3-13 years old; birth-2 years old is fuzzy. I can say that Music WAS safety. In school it was also an escape from bullying during recess; I practiced the church organ during each recess...(I know, how gay!). I knew I was "different" since I can remember, and I identified myself as "homosexual" since 6th grade. By then I knew that my classmates, mainly the boys, hated me and this hatred created a label... "fag"; my classmate Jimmy told me while we were walking home from school one day that other students thought I was a "fag". Yeah...6th-7th-8th Grade; good times.

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At age 15-16 I had my first therapist tell me that my childhood story (ages 3-13) would make a great book - NOT so much a "compliment" per se, more of an acknowledgement that the "details" of it are curious and interesting. When you grow up isolated in the biggest house on the hill (think the Psycho house), have a cross between Carrie's Mom (Laurie Piper) and Mother Dearest, with a sprinkle of the nightgown-wearing, belt-swinging, monster-Mom of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood [ A+ if you know all of those references], oh, and she carries a gun, and end up leaving once your life is threatened...let's just say my step-mother was one disturbed person - who knows the pain she felt, esp. being married to my Dad. He's another story. She died 6 months after I ran away; yeah, drama.

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And these posts will not be "boo-hoo...every bad decision I ever made is because of these reasons above" - It's more like "I need to tell my story". I want people to understand MORE about these topics IN GENERAL, like:

• Child Abuse - with the many subsets
• Childhood Bullying - Adult Bullying - Governmental Bullying
• Mental Illness & Brain Development (esp. ages 3-9)
• Gender Identity
• A Child's Need to Feel SAFE in the World

Finally, I support a Queer Equality Revolution. I will post about Equality in general, but favor giving attention to stories of the consequences of UN-Equal Protection, and the more "radical" civil disobedineces that will hopefully occur more frequently. I hope to counter-protest at our local PRIDE again IF the haters come, but I have good and bad days, esp. with agoraphobia.

But when it comes to Queer Equality Revolution, I say:

Treat government how it treats your family. Yeah, like TH*T. I find it reprehensible that Gays, Lesbians, Transgender Persons, Bisexuals, and Queers have to WAIT for their DUE civil rights just because the Federal Government is scared shit-less of the Bible Belt. Criminal.